Once I had finished sharing about how wedding planning was, my friend said:

“It seems like you were discipled by this process.”

Ironically, if you would have told me that wedding planning would be this rich, unifying, inspiring experience, I would’ve LAFFED. And, if I’m honest, I had a lot of fears around marriage, and the lore around the intensity of wedding planning truly just compounded the issue. But that’s a story for another day.

We’ve all been around the type B brides and the type A brides. It’s cool if you don’t care and it’s cool if you do. Minimalistic, excessive, micro, MACRO, beach, mountain, resort, backyard, family farm. There’s a MILLion options, even some budgets ARE a million (not mine!!!). How do you pick?

Needless to say, my mind was swarming with questions. How do I do this while also learning about marriage? How do I do this without becoming a diva? How do I do this and honor my mom? How many people should come? How can I do this in joy? How do I be a good wife to Tate? What does he need? How can I share our story without making it all about us? Can it be all about us? Maybe? How can I do this responsibly? How do I live this season of life without it consuming me? Can it consume me? Will God be glorified?

Not to mention the questions swarming at me. When is it? What will your dress look like? How are you going to ask your bridesmaids? Did you send those invitations out yet? Can you add them to the guest list? Is your website up? Are you going to get engagement photos taken?

Chaos! Whirlwind! Overwhelm!

I can’t do it all or choose it all.

What can I choose? What can I do?

Plan around values.

Tate and I made a list of a few values. I feel like we wrote them down somewhere but I can’t find them, so here they are now:

We want a wedding that values:

1. The story God is writing

2. Our family

3. Celebrating our guests

4. Reflecting us as we are

Basically in that order.

All of a sudden, decisions became so easy.

Does a wedding band that plays “September” reflect us? No, but a bluegrass band does. Do luxury tablecloths really celebrate our guests? No, but a little handwritten note does! Do hurried phone calls with my mom honor her? No, but one on one time does. Does spending hours trying to create a wedding that reflects my Pinterest feed honor the vibrant, dynamic, magnificent story God is writing in the world? Of course not!!!

The list and examples go on and on. But I implore you to make the most out of your wedding planning process, not in a “get what you want, it’s your wedding day” way, but in a “this has a massive chance to shift your thinking and change your life” way. Or “disciple” you, as my friend said.

Anyway, I guess I should connect this to the wedding pieces I designed and how my values were honored there. But now I’m thinking that story is for another day too.

If I convinced you to plan a wedding through your values, we are cut from the same cloth. Let’s work together, please.